Thought Provoking

I got a note from Adrienne asking me to think about some qualities of mothering and share them with her. It was a wonderful to think about my children and I wanted to record my thoughts.

The first thing she wanted was to list a few attributes of being a mother. Here are just three of mine:

• Listen when your children want to talk, even when it is not convenient (pull up a chair in the kitchen if needed when you are working and listen while you work - look them in the eye when they talk to you)
• Be grateful - I loved all of the things my children made for me and I tried to thank them. I know sometimes children (and husbands) don't give us exactly what WE want, but I think of Bruce and my children shopping and choosing something they wanted me to have and I would never say I wished it was something else, or that Daddy should have guided them to something different. Sometimes a look, or a comment can cut them to the very quick and hurt when they think they have disappointed their mother. Say "thank you" often.
• Show them kindness - sometimes it is downright hard to like your children even though we love them and I tried to be nice (like to my friend) even when I didn't feel like it. Often I would go into their rooms when they were at school, sit on their beds, look around at their stuff, and remember how much I wanted them in my family and how much I love them. That helped me many times.

The second was to list qualities a women needs in order to teach her children to have faith and base their decisions on gospel truths. Here are the three I wrote about:

• Bear your testimony to them of how the Lord has helped guide your decisions and how using gospel truths helps keep us safe. I can only remember one time I ever heard my mother bear her testimony, although I knew she had one. That is one reason I loved teaching seminary, having an opportunity to tell my children what I believe.
• Let your children see you pray. I would often go into my room and shut the door to pray, but I wish I had left it open so they could have seen how much I needed prayer and that I knew prayer would save me when things were difficult.
• Teach them to look back to look forward. I remind myself often how the Lord has blessed and guided me in the past so I can be assured He will in the future too. One of my favorite places in the scriptures is Genesis 24 (there I see what the Lord has done, what He can do, what He will do, and what my responsibilities are once I have a testimony of what is right).

Thanks Adrienne for giving me an opportunity to reflect on how much I love being a mother.